About
I'm not guessing.
I'm not a doctor, a therapist or a counsellor. I'm somebody who did this and then helped other people do it.
Sober, day3,813
Since 14 March 2016. I use the date rather than the round number because the date is a fact I live with and the round number is a thing people put on websites.
What happened
By 28 I'd lost the business, the girlfriend, the apartment and the benefit of the doubt from everyone who had already given it to me twice.
I was never drinking under a bridge. I was drinking in decent bars, in good clothes, with a phone full of people who thought I was doing fine. That's the part nobody warns you about. You can lose almost everything while still looking employed. The collapse doesn't announce itself. It takes one thing at a time, and every single time there's a reasonable explanation for the thing it took.
I brushed my teeth in the middle of the afternoon. I moved bottles between bins. I had rules and I moved every one of them, and I always had a good reason, and the reasons were the tell.
I stopped 10 years ago. Not in one heroic decision on a mountain. It took a run of failed attempts, a couple of conversations I did not want to have, and one person who talked to me like an adult instead of a patient or a project. That last part is most of why this site exists.
What happened after
I live in Bali. I'm married. I have a baby. I run a licensed telemedicine and pharmacy business here, which is a real company with staff and regulators and all the boring things that come with that.
I'm not telling you that so you'll be impressed. I'm telling you because when I was where you might be right now, I could not picture any of it, and nobody could describe it to me in a way I actually believed. The useful part isn't that it turned out well. It's that it turned out ordinary. Most days now are just days.
What I am, exactly
Bart is a peer recovery coach with lived experience, not a doctor, therapist, psychologist or licensed counsellor. Coaching is not medical care, it is not psychotherapy, and it is not a substitute for either. It cannot diagnose or treat any condition.
What I have instead of a licence is ten years, my own wreckage, and the hours since. For some people that's more useful than a credential. For some people it isn't, and those people need a doctor or a therapist, and I will tell you which one I think you are.
What I won't do
- I don't diagnose anybody, including you, including in a reassuring direction.
- I don't do detox, and I won't tell you how to taper. That is a doctor's job and doing it badly can kill people.
- I don't give medication advice. There are medications that help some people. Ask a doctor about them, it's a real conversation worth having.
- I don't do couples therapy, court reports, or letters for anybody's employer.
- I don't sell anything to somebody showing signs of physical dependence. The only thing I'll tell them is to see a doctor, including when they want to buy.
- I don't take a referral fee from a treatment centre, an interventionist or a rehab. Not once, not ever. Patient brokering is illegal in several US states and it is the reputational rot of this whole industry.
Why there are no ads
I don't run ads. I can't: Google and Meta ban recovery advertising from anyone without a certification I don't hold, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. You found this because a person or a search engine linked it. I also take no referral fee from any treatment centre, ever, for anyone.
If I'm not right for you
Then use one of these, and I mean that. SMART Recovery if you want something structured and secular. AA if the meetings work for you, and for a lot of people they genuinely do, they just didn't for me. LifeRing. A therapist if what's underneath this is bigger than the drinking. Your own doctor, always, if your body reacts when you stop.
Naming those costs me nothing I want to keep. If you get sober through somebody else, that is the entire point.
Questions people ask me
Are you a therapist or a counsellor?
No. I'm a peer recovery coach, which means my qualification is that I did this myself and have since helped other people do it. I'm not a doctor, a therapist, a psychologist or a licensed counsellor, I can't diagnose anything, and coaching is not medical care or psychotherapy. If what you need is a clinician, I'll say so on the first call rather than take your money.
Do you have a certification?
Not currently. I could buy one from several organisations this afternoon and put a badge in the footer, and plenty of people do exactly that. I'd rather tell you what I actually have, which is ten years sober, a life I rebuilt from nothing, and a lot of hours sitting with people at the stage you might be at now. If I complete a recognised peer specialist credential I'll say so here, with the issuing body named.
Why can't I find your ads anywhere?
Because there aren't any. Google, Meta and Microsoft have refused addiction and recovery advertising since 2018 from anyone without LegitScript certification, and I don't hold it. So I can't buy my way in front of you even if I wanted to. You found this because a person linked it or a search engine did. I also take no referral fee from any treatment centre, for anyone, ever.
Do you work with people outside Bali?
Almost everyone I work with is somewhere else. It's video or voice, so where you are doesn't matter much. I'm in Bali, which is UTC+8, and I keep early-morning and evening slots specifically so Europe and the US aren't stuck calling me at four in the morning.
What do you actually do that I can't do on my own?
Plenty of people do it on their own, and if you're one of them you should. What I do is remove the part where you're the only person who knows the real number, and be somebody who has been exactly where you are and will not flinch, moralise or repeat the sentence your friends keep saying. Also, quite practically: what you do tonight, what you do at the wedding in March, and what you say when the tray comes round.